Seriously? Yes.
While I’m preparing for your difficult or important one-on-one interaction, I sometimes find that the process of preparation and of creating mind maps isn’t enough. Either the stakes (for me or the conversation partner) are so high that I’m not comfortable even having the conversation, or the conflict is likely to be so intense […]

Who says that speeches and public speaking gigs are the only times you should prepare ahead of time?
Before an important private interaction I always take a little time to sketch out in my mind how things are going to go. How will I open the conversation? How will she respond? Which responses are most likely, […]

At least some of the personal interactions you are going to have as a leader are going to fall into the category of a difficult conversation.
Difficult conversations happen when there is conflict, or anticipated conflict, between the ways two people perceive a given situation. For example, when you have to tell a coworker that […]

Every interpersonal interaction is potentially important. But you won’t recognize which ones are and which ones aren’t until you learn to treat your private interactions with the same degree of care that you treat your public interactions.
Interacting on purpose
Spend a little time before each interaction to be sure you know what you want to accomplish—what […]

Before we get started talking about private conversations, though, I wanted to interject something. Think about this as the sorbet course.
I’ve always heard you’ve got to blow your own horn, because no on else is going to blow it for you.
For most of us, though, blowing our own horn is pretty hard to do. I’m […]

First off, happy new year everybody! This is the first post of the new year, and we’re moving on to the last new topic before we finish the whole book.
After this topic is done (in a couple weeks, probably) most of the core of the book will be online. The book has more information, […]

“Theory and big ideas. Don’t you have any tips I can start using right now?” Why yes, I do. Thanks for asking.
Hyperventilate your way to a successful talk
Everyone is nervous before a performance (see the next tip). But if you find your nervousness might distract you from being effective, do what I do: hyperventilate.
A series […]

I love speaking to a crowd. It often gives me my only chance to teach as part of my job, and I get to pretend I’m an graphic designer for a while. But a majority of Westerners list public speaking as their worst fear, beating out death, the dark, financial ruin, and spiders and […]

[The last tip was about getting enough practice.]
At least once, and preferably several times, set up a video camera or recruit a friend and tape yourself giving a tour or talk.
Without realizing it, people stick their tongues out between sentences, juggle change noisily in their pockets, grin at inappropriate moments, say “You know?” at every […]

Let’s spend a few posts talking specifically about how you can tune up your public-speaking performances.
You won’t get better if you don’t practice
As you’ve probably gathered by now, I believe that the biggest single key to success in just about everything is practice. And practice. And did I mention that you should practice?
Getting practice time
There […]