There aren’t many things you have to do

My organization, like lots of large companies and government agencies, has a required regimen of courses and training that I am required to complete as the career clock ticks. To say that these are usually unremarkable is being pretty generous, but hey, spring is in the air.

But I got lucky and did an exercise in the most recent of these classes last year that made an impression on me. It was about priorities and choice. Since those of you who procrastinate are still at a goal-setting, priority-making, resolution-writing time of year, I thought I’d share that experience with you.

The Lists

In the exercise we were to make two lists titled “I have to” and “I cannot,” and then populate each list with 5 or so items that we had to get done soon or that we couldn’t do. My “have to” list included things like finish my quarterly report, draft a proposal, and attend the rest of this class. My “cannot” list included such items as get enough sleep, ever get caught up on email, and get to the bottom of my to do list.

To finish the exercise we changed the titles of the lists from “I have to” to “I choose to” and “I cannot” to “I choose not to.” A simple enough change, and one that I’m sure wasn’t revealing for everyone. But this slight change in perspective made a difference to me.

Choices

The exercise reinforced for me just how very little of the stuff that is piled on my plate every day is stuff that I really have to—as in “I have to breathe” have to—do. If I don’t really have to do it, but I do it anyway, then it’s a choice, and choices I can control. Shifting my perspective to recognize what is driven by my behavior versus truly externally dictated reminded me that these really are my choices and that I ultimately have control.

It may be that if I don’t choose to finish the quarterly report I’ll lose my job, but I still do have a choice. And remembering that I’m not completely at the whim of external forces is something that’s useful to do every now and then.

If you haven’t ever done an exercise like this, I recommend you try it to see if it makes a difference for you. As you are setting your goals and priorities throughout the year, try remembering that there is very little you actually have to do; everything else is a choice, and the choices are yours to make.